HOW AWESOME IS THIS?

The View has selected Rosie O’Donnell to fill Meredith Vieira’s seat, while Meri goes off to flirt with Matt Lauer every morning.

This is a BRILLIANT move. First, I should disclose I am a huge Ro fan. I just watched her HBO Special “All Aboard!” - about a cruise she set up for all gay and lesbian families - and I totally cried like a baby, like, multiple times. All of these happy children, of all different colors, being loved by two caring parents - it’s moving, and if you haven’t seen it, you should. I actually looked up adoption websites after watching it and told Mr. Diva that we were adopting our next kid. But then I realized I would be taking a child away from a loving gay couple and that wouldn’t be right. It’s a conundrum. I mean - I have a husband and we have all the parts we need to make our own kid. Whatever - that’s another story.

Let’s talk about how Survivor Elizabeth’s head is going to exPLODE having to talk to a honest to god lesbian every day. There’s nothing I hate more than a young, white, Republican pretty girl. Stupid entitled bitch - went on a reality show and got herself a job. 2nd string quarterback’s wife with a baby and a stalker. Dude, I saw her come on one show with a Women for W banner - as in George W. Oh man, Rosie’s gonna tear her surviving ass apart.

And STAR! Ro just said some shit about her - about how it’s okay to talk about her breast lift that she almost died from, but it’s not okay to talk about her gastric bypass, which she obviously had. No, she just implies she did some pilates and ate carrots. Have you seen fat Star? Ain’t no SlimFast gonna achieve that so quickly.

Joy now has some competition in the funny department. I hope the two of them gang up and get Star and Elizabeth Stepford booted.

Dude, it worked. I’m totally watching. And I haven’t watched since the Women for W incident. Kudos, producers. You’ve reeled me back in.

Britney fired her nanny, according to gossip fave Jeanette Walls, (who had a crazy upbringing herself - read her book).

I love the quotes emerging from this story.

“She wanted to be a mother and thought she could snap her fingers and be the perfect mom,” one of her supposed friends tells In Touch. “But Britney is learning the hard way that being a good mother is something you always have to work at.”

WOW! You are totally kidding me. No wonder the finger-snapping thing isn’t working for me. I have callouses on my thumbs and forefingers, while my kid is sitting in the dog’s water dish chewing electrical cords.

She also consulted with a doctor who gave her this wise advice: “The doctor advised her not to leave Preston on any high surfaces where he could roll off.”

I never thought of that? Thank god nothing happened when I put Baby Diva on the kitchen counter and went out for a jog. I should have probably consulted that wise doctor.

I smell something gamey - I know - it’s the smell of goat - as in SCAPEGOAT. Just like that CIA lady. Poor amiga.

So it was Kevin Costner who whipped it out while getting a massage at St. Andrews.

This was a blind item several weeks ago, and I was sure it was Michael Douglas who slapped the salami while getting a massage. Cuz come on - he comes off as a dirty old man. But Kevin Costner was there the same weekend, and now it turns out it’s him.

Dirty dirty bad actor.

Thanks, Mot, for the link!

Yep - she chose the clink over community service.

I hope they treat her better than she treated Henry Gale.

US says Britney’s definitely knocked up.

I don’t buy it. I think she’s just fat. But whatever - if she is, it just makes her whole story even sadder, which I didn’t think was possible.

Does this mean they are back together? Again?

God, do I even fucking care?

Check out People’s Quote of the Day

I love feathers, because feathers then join as wings and … I always say, ‘Spread your wings, fly without strings.’ - Paula Abdul, hawking her feather-adorned jewelry on QVC

Hey Simon and Randy - what time is it? Yep - time for an intervention! Put it on A&E, have Dr. Phil run it, but for god’s sake get her some HELP.

If you want to laugh, check out her ad on QVC.com.

Nuwanda Girl woke me from my fog to tell me that Denise Richards is hooking up with Richie Sambora.

But, I thought, isn’t she, like, best friends with Heather Locklear, Richie’s estranged wife?

She wouldn’t do that!

Oh YES SHE WOULD!!!

It’s in People, for the love of god. You know that shit is TRUE.

Wow. That’s slutty. I wouldn’t even steal your imaginary, fictional boyfriends, NG.

Gillian Anderson, aka Sculley, is getting divorced.

And Matt Dillon’s brother married his fetus’ momma in Vegas.

Nuwanda Girl, you are not going to like this story. So if you want to keep your romantic illusions about James Blunt intact, it would be best if you stop reading.

According to OK! magazine, James Blunt, the singer/songwriter of the unrequited love song, “You’re Beautiful” is no different from any other man out there. He’s a cheater.

So I guess he’s engaged to an “heiress” named Camilla Boler. But this engagement could be kaput due to a “New York fling” with British TV personality Tara Palmer-Tomkinson. Looks like she was on a reality show over there, her dad was Prince Charles’ ski instructor, and she’s been in rehab for the other kind of snow - the one you snort.

OK! says T P-T said, “If nothing had happened, then I would have come right out and said nothing had happened. I haven’t done that, have I?”

She went on to say that Blunt told her he was single when they romped. Bastard.

I guess the story is HUGE in the British tabs. I’m sorry to burst your romantic notions, NG. It upset me terribly as well.