Private mansion in the countryside of southern England: $14.5 million.

Kabbalah center headquarters in the heart of London: $6.5 million.

Elitist, patronizing, head up her own ass quote:

The material world… the physical world. The world of illusion that we think is real. We live for it, we’re enslaved by it. It will ultimately be our undoing.”

Fucking Priceless.

(You’re from Pontiac, Michigan. Get over yourself.)

Oh, wait. It says “Britney’s having DARK thoughts.” I thought we had a real scoop here.

So here it is – I predicted that Britney would suffer from post-partum depression, ala Brooke Shields, and Life&Style has confirmed my premonition.

“I can’t keep my mind from having these dark thoughts over and over – that something awful might happen to Sean,” Britney supposedly told a friend – and an “expert” thinks she’s suffering from more than the baby blues – she’s in full-blown PPD. “I’m so nervous I’m not doing things right,” she told another friend.

Even if Brit didn’t say this, I am sure she’s feeling it right now. Most new moms do. Shit, my kid is 10 months and I freak out every day that he’s going to choke and die. It’s hard being responsible for the livelihood of another human being.

And look at the partner she chose to enter into this sacred, scary phase – K-Fed. While she’s hovering over her baby’s crib, making sure that little guy is, in fact, breathing, he’s out at LA club Mood “until early morning.” When she asks him for his rationalization for this behavior, he tells her “he has to be seen as a hot young guy.”

Uh, I don’t care how many clubs he goes to. He will never been seen as “hot.”

I feel for Brit. Sure, we all knew she was probably too young to be doing this. And we all definitely knew that the sperm donor she picked was a loser. But it’s hard being a new mom. We’ll see how long it takes for her to kick him out – it would be the smartest thing she could do.

Most likely, he’s send a lovely assortment of Dianetic brochures…..

Yep, Brooke Shields is pregnant again. It’s pretty brave to get knocked up again after suffering from such a severe bout of PPD after the birth of her first daughter, Rowan (who is an ADORABLE little baby, btw). I’d be freaking out – wondering if it was gonna happen again. But at least she knows what to expect. And there are drugs to take. Unless you’re Katie Holmes.

Katie better PRAY she doesn’t suffer the way Brooke did. I mean, if severe PPD isn’t treated, the consequences could be dire. Remember Andrea Yates?

But I digress. Congratulations, Brooke and family!

George Takai, who played Mr. Sulu in the original Star Trek series, has come out of the closet. To be honest, I never really got into the original series – I was more of a Next Generation girl. But I say good for you, Sulu! He and his partner has been together for 18 years and I bet he’s relieved to claim his sexuality.

He said he came forward partially because of the social and political climate in which we live. He comments that he’s amazed that the legalization of gay marriage is even being discussed – I guess demonstrating how far we’ve come just to have the topic on the table.

I’m a bit less positive than Sulu. I can’t believe it’s not legal in every state in this country. I can’t believe we still live in a country where discrimination is legalized.

I wonder what it was like on the Enterprise. I don’t remember there ever being any gay characters. If I’m mistaken, let me know. But how cool would it be to show a future where gay relationships are just as accepted as straight ones?

Live on, Sulu. And prosper.

…like some LA residents (yes, you Britney).

So Nichollette Sheridan broke off her engagement to actor Nicklas Soderblom. Well, we don’t know if that’s exactly true. He could have dumped her, though I kind of doubt it since she’s the one on Desperate Housewives and no one knows who the hell he is. Regardless, they broke up.

It’s sort of sad. He bought her this dog when they were dating and she loves that dog so much. And any guy who buys her lady a dog can’t be all bad.

But I say kudos to them. Too many celebrities get married without thinking about what it means to be married. Hell, too many people in general do that. The ones with balls call it off before it gets that far.

Except Stupid Spoiled Whore Paris Hilton. She sucks.

Well well. Ms. Jackson denies Young DeBarge’s claim that she had a baby 18 years ago.

I’m not sure. Young DOES have an album coming out, so this could be a publicity thing.

On the OTHER hand, the Jacksons are crazy, crazy people. I would NOT be shocked if it was true at all. It could totally happen.

Well, we’ll just have to wait until Renee comes out of her dungeon and goes on Maury and demands a MATERNITY test.

Oh no. You did not just go there. Whatever. I can do what I want.

Janet Jackson, the star of the famous Superbowl Nipplegate, has a daughter, says her former brother-in-law Young DeBarge.

Janet was married for, like, 5 minutes to James DeBarge in 1984. Remember DeBarge? “I believe in the Rhythm of the Night – takes me to the morning light.” Something like that.

So she was 18 and was married to James for 3 months and it got annulled a year later. Now the bro-in-law (who, coincidentally, has an album coming out) says that she had his child, named Renee, who is currently living with Janet’s older sister, Reba.

I so believe this, because that Jackson family is crazy. Janet was all popular then – it’s Janet, Miss Jackson if your nasty – and it wouldn’t have helped her career if she was a single mother. So they quickly got married, all hush like, and she has the kid – they pawn her off to her older sister and get the marriage annulled.

Now the real question is does this child think Reba is her mother and Janet is her cool young aunt? I will post details as I find them.

People has pictures.

So I’m going to be a little cynical now – this sort of smells like a set-up pic to me. I’m sure they are dating – there are pictures of them walking around Chicago, too – but this pic – catching her profile and all that – shrouded in bushes. Screams set up.

But good for her – going out and getting some. And Vince Vaughn is awesome. So take THAT, Brad!

Speaking of Brad – Angelina’s co-star in Beowulf, Ray Winstone, is going around saying they are getting married. That’s a good way for Ray to get his name in some papers.

Now, I’m not a big follower of urban music. But I am familiar with the name Foxy Brown. I mean, I can’t name any of her songs or anything – but I’ve heard the name.

So I’m reading my People again – I do a brief runthrough, reading only those articles that are of utmost importance to me, and then later, I leisurely read through the rest of the articles – and I come across this one entitled “I’ve Been Deaf for Four Months.” I thought it was going to be one of those special interest articles about someone in Topeka or something. But nope – it’s rapper Foxy Brown.

She went to bed one night with the television blaring and woke up and couldn’t hear a thing. She turned the volume up to 60. Nothing. Went outside and honked her car horn. Nothing. She picked up her phone and dialed. Nothing.

Dude, wouldn’t this totally freak you out? She was diagnosed with something called severe sudden sensorineural hearing loss, which is now at the top of my Fear List, along with biological warfare and deep vein thrombosis.

It’s the result of a viral infection – and she had warning signs. She was having difficulty hearing – it would be okay one day, bad the next. But she didn’t go check it out. I probably wouldn’t have either if I was 26. You just don’t think about suddenly going deaf. So if she did get it checked out sooner, they may have been able to save her hearing.

Instead, she had surgery and can now hear at about the 20% level. Man, that would just suck – 26, career in music, and you wake up deaf. Totally bizarre. And even more bizarre is this hasn’t really been talked about on the usual gossip sites. Like I said, I don’t know her music – just know her by name, but I feel bad for her. Hopefully more of her hearing will be restored and she can continue her career.

Celebrity Living has uncovered even more lovable pet names for Kevin Federline’s precious little boy, Sean Preston. And because the folks at CL are so helpful, they provided translations for those of us who may not be up on our cutesy-wutesy lingo:

“Gangsta” & “Shotty” – short for gangster and shotgun.
“310″ – the L.A. area code
“Dillon” & “Toaster” – terms for a pistol
“Homey” – short for homeboy

That is just too precious! It brings a little tear to one’s eye, doesn’t it? Well, I’m just so moved I may just pick up the phone and call Child Protective Services.

Also, turns out K-Fed’s quite the little spender. And it may make Breadwinner Britney go back to work. Life & Style reports that the couple are bouncing checks! Something that I’m sure K-Fed is familiar with but I’m pretty sure Brit’s never experienced it before.

So what’s he spending his money on, other than ill-fitting clothing, cigarettes and do-rags? Turns out he’s building a multimillion-dollar dance school with Mr. Stability himself, Joe Jackson – father of Michael. Yeah. THAT should be a success.